Always on my mind.

Somewhere around 6 years old, I was sitting on the flight of stairs with my mom slightly behind me and sitting on a higher step. She pulled through the comb from each strain of hair on my head with gentle touch and gentle gesture; I was feeling the blessing of a mother as she gracefully sweeps through my hair despite the chilly morning breeze. In a calm tone, she said “Angah, when you grow up, you’ll be a memory in people’s head, be a good one”. I was contemplating for a moment, trying to make heads and tails of what she’s saying. As a child, I listen as a child, understood as a child and see things as a child.

But life has its own way of sorting things out, I grew up eventually and family watched me change, because they let me change. I gradually develop understanding towards behaviors and actions; I slowly grasp the meaning of the word when I hark back to them. I guess it’s true what they say, mother does know best. I now know and understand what it feels like, to watch your own son grow up and leave for the very first time, the reluctance of letting him go, and also the throbbing heartbreak when they didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to be. 

Parents will always want the very best for you and that’s why they love you more than they love themselves. I was sad and crying when my father caned me but it wasn’t the bruise that hurts, it was the heart when somebody you love and you trust hurts you. I felt asleep in exhaustion but I managed to catch a glimpse of my father’s word, “Angah, you may not have the best father, but you’ll always have a father that loves you best”. Every time I reminisce that moment, cold tears would spontaneously roll down my check and my heart would grow fonder and the love for my parents would continuously develop with each memories made. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I’ll bring my parent’s name along with me. I don’t care if it’s not mother’s or father’s day, but Mom and Dad, I love you every day. 

Science and faith.

No, it’s not the name of The Script recent album although I do admire the immaculately awe-inspiring Irish band. Just the other day, I was having a contented afternoon lunch by the lake with Sam and Jimmy. It was after Solat Jumaat and the three of us waited for the ambiance to abate from all the hectic crowd. Grasping warily on where we should sit, my eye caught the table on the corner of the diner, just next to the illuminating lake. Jimmy broke the silence as he brought this idea on the contradiction between Science and Faith.

It’s not something new since people have been holding the two ideas since the Renaissance era. Whether it’s about neglecting one another or accentuating one idea, majority sees it as vastly incompatible. He was going on ambitiously, on how science corroborates reasons and cold hard facts while faith is correlated to emotions, feelings and sufficient evidence. Compelled to be heard, I brought on this idea of God’s spot and the simple logic of Science can’t explain everything and Faith is required in certain coincidences. 

God’s spot is believed to be located somewhere in the front hemisphere of the Cerebrum. No matter how much we don’t believe in god and how much an atheist we wish we could be, in the back of our mind, we still believe in a divine power to perform miracle in our life, somewhere we can turn to when everything seems to be gone astray. When you’re at the side of the bed, crying as your father fight for his next breath after a car accident, this would be the time where you would just dropped to your knee, raise your hand, wishing god to help him make it through, wishing for god’s miracle to work its way and make everything’s okay again. That’s how you know that God’s spot exist. All you need is just a little bit of faith.

Or maybe when the time you’re anxiously waiting for your examination results. The result is absolutely significant to you as it determines what you’ll be wearing in the next 20 years. After it’s all set and done, there’s not a single thing that man and all of his technologies can do to change what’s written. At this point, God’s spot play it’s role and the only one you can turn to is just God himself. I can tell you that there’s no scientific explanation or logical reasoning to explain such phenomenon. 

At the end of the day, we realized that science itself requires faith and it will eventually lead you back to Quran. So we settled down the evening chat with the simple statement of some questions are better left unanswered.

Relationship

As we grow up and make our way down the path of life, we learn new things. One of the most unforgettable events in our life is probably falling in love. Having a crush is normal but taking one step further is another thing. As a teenager myself, I can’t deny the fact that I also tried to be in a relationship, just so curious and compelled to know of what does it feels like to be in love. Well I can tell you one thing; the feeling is simply unexplainable and euphoric.

But let’s be clear about what really happened. Society agreed that as human beings, we all have crushes, and when the right time comes, you’ll be in a situation called ‘puppy love’. One thing about puppy love is that the chance of it surviving is pretty slight and most would end up with heartbreaks. You may lose at dice, but you won’t lose everything; eventually, you’ll gain experience that will make you realize it’s not just about mutual love, it’s also about working things out and to always compromise . But it’s just safe to say that it’s not time yet for us to start a relationship; we have other focus and goals to reach and being in another obligation only confines our maximum potential and commitment in life. The very nature of relationship itself is a drawback, if it works, you’ll get married, if it doesn't, you’ll be enemy (mostly) So for the time being, just reach for the sky and be as successful as you possibly can, the sky is the limit, fly like a bird and sting like the bee, once you had it all, people will come to you and started to get crazy over you.

I know that it doesn’t make sense a bit but heck that’s what emotion is; they’ll leave you bamboozled, twisting and turning and tangled for a few hours before getting you back where you started again. The secret of a happy relationship or marriage is just falling in love again and again, with the same person. And if there are still questions playing in your head, just ask your mom, “Mom, how did you know that Dad was the right one?” Chances are, if you play your cards right, the answer might just be the formula of an eternal love. And don’t worry if you get your heart broken because there’s always someone out there with enough superglue to paste it back in shape.